The bad news: Nate and I are disappointed to share, that against our deepest wishes, our adoption will be on hold for the next 18 months.
The good news: we are expecting to be having a baby in February. (yup, we are preggo!)
We are blown away by this miracle and the series of events God has led us through. I'm sure you may have some questions, so I will try to answer some of them!
I thought this was not possible?
About 10 months ago, we sat in the office of a specialist who told us that it would be "pretty much impossible" to have a child on our own right now. He suggested IVF was our only real chance. We already knew IVF was not in our plan right now, and since adoption was always in our plan, our decision was easy.
Now we have heard the stories: "My friend started the adoption process after years of trying to get pregnant and as soon as their adoption went through, they found out they were pregnant!", or, "As soon as my friend stopped trying, she got pregnant!". I am sure the "not trying" theory definitely has some ground in the medical field, and I am not trying to deny it. But when someone tells you that there is something wrong with you, and can point to a picture of your own body to tell you why, and has the name of a condition to go with it, you don't really believe that "not trying" is going to solve your problem.
We knew that it was not completely 100% impossible (even if they told us that, I don't think we would have believed them- our God does amazing things). We talked about if I should go back on birth control or not- and we decided no. I think it came down to two reasons: 1- if you know anything about a couple who is adopting due to not being able to have a child on their own, you know that adoption does not cure the pain of infertility. Yes, we still wanted a child of our own and we didn't want to just throw a chance of that completely out of the picture. 2- we left it in God's hands. Before we started trying, we told God we wanted Him to have control of how we grew our family, so us trying to "stop" anything, didn't seem like the kind of trust we wanted to give Him. If God wanted us to have a child of our own, we were happy to let Him bless us with one.
Some may think we hit the one-in-a-million. We know we hit a miracle.
So how exactly does this affect your adoption?
Colombian adoption policy states that if a couple gets pregnant, they will be put on hold until that child is one year old. Yes, we are extremely disappointed with this news. This does not mean that we are going to stop our adoption or even look at other options. There are other programs we could pursue that would not require us to wait, but we feel deeply dedicated to Colombia, Los Pisingos(the adoption house), and every relationship we have made that relates to this process.
We tried to argue against this rule, but it looks like they are not willing to budge. While we are devastated, we understand that in the end we are in a win-win situation and are thankful.
Did you think about giving up on your adoption plans?
Not.even.for.a.second. Adoption was always in our plan, having a child of our own does not change our passion for it. I don't think our motives have really changed at all either. 1:We still need them, and 2: they still deserve a loving family.
Before we found out for sure we would could be delayed, I was prepared to go down to Colombia 6 months pregnant or with a 3 month old if they would let me. (Ok, cue the "you are crazy" from all the parents out there). You can call me crazy, stupid, or just un-knowing, but when you have been dreaming of this little baby waiting for you, and you desire that child so much, nothing will stand in your way (well, except a foreign government I guess). The idea of stopping this adoption, to me is sort of like considering aborting this baby- you may think that is a drastic comparison, but it is the best way I can explain it! So in short: we plan that the day after we celebrate our little miracle's first birthday, we will be calling our case worker to get things moving again.
What about the fees you have already paid and the money that has been donated?
We will have to re-pay some of the fees (a couple things will need to be updated). We are extremely thankful for the people who have donated to us and feel utterly terrible that some of the fees will have to be repeated. We don't expect it to be a lot (and are praying it will stay that way). We do still have some money that we have in a separate bank account for this adoption, and not a penny of that will be spent until we are back on the road again. For now, we plan to invest it (wisely, no risk) so that it can grow in preparation for our future adoption (we still will have a long ways to go financially when the time comes!)
Will you keep up your blog?
Yes! I am excited to share the story of our growing family, and hope you will continue to visit! :D
The good news: we are expecting to be having a baby in February. (yup, we are preggo!)
We are blown away by this miracle and the series of events God has led us through. I'm sure you may have some questions, so I will try to answer some of them!
I thought this was not possible?
About 10 months ago, we sat in the office of a specialist who told us that it would be "pretty much impossible" to have a child on our own right now. He suggested IVF was our only real chance. We already knew IVF was not in our plan right now, and since adoption was always in our plan, our decision was easy.
Now we have heard the stories: "My friend started the adoption process after years of trying to get pregnant and as soon as their adoption went through, they found out they were pregnant!", or, "As soon as my friend stopped trying, she got pregnant!". I am sure the "not trying" theory definitely has some ground in the medical field, and I am not trying to deny it. But when someone tells you that there is something wrong with you, and can point to a picture of your own body to tell you why, and has the name of a condition to go with it, you don't really believe that "not trying" is going to solve your problem.
We knew that it was not completely 100% impossible (even if they told us that, I don't think we would have believed them- our God does amazing things). We talked about if I should go back on birth control or not- and we decided no. I think it came down to two reasons: 1- if you know anything about a couple who is adopting due to not being able to have a child on their own, you know that adoption does not cure the pain of infertility. Yes, we still wanted a child of our own and we didn't want to just throw a chance of that completely out of the picture. 2- we left it in God's hands. Before we started trying, we told God we wanted Him to have control of how we grew our family, so us trying to "stop" anything, didn't seem like the kind of trust we wanted to give Him. If God wanted us to have a child of our own, we were happy to let Him bless us with one.
Some may think we hit the one-in-a-million. We know we hit a miracle.
So how exactly does this affect your adoption?
Colombian adoption policy states that if a couple gets pregnant, they will be put on hold until that child is one year old. Yes, we are extremely disappointed with this news. This does not mean that we are going to stop our adoption or even look at other options. There are other programs we could pursue that would not require us to wait, but we feel deeply dedicated to Colombia, Los Pisingos(the adoption house), and every relationship we have made that relates to this process.
We tried to argue against this rule, but it looks like they are not willing to budge. While we are devastated, we understand that in the end we are in a win-win situation and are thankful.
Did you think about giving up on your adoption plans?
Not.even.for.a.second. Adoption was always in our plan, having a child of our own does not change our passion for it. I don't think our motives have really changed at all either. 1:We still need them, and 2: they still deserve a loving family.
Before we found out for sure we would could be delayed, I was prepared to go down to Colombia 6 months pregnant or with a 3 month old if they would let me. (Ok, cue the "you are crazy" from all the parents out there). You can call me crazy, stupid, or just un-knowing, but when you have been dreaming of this little baby waiting for you, and you desire that child so much, nothing will stand in your way (well, except a foreign government I guess). The idea of stopping this adoption, to me is sort of like considering aborting this baby- you may think that is a drastic comparison, but it is the best way I can explain it! So in short: we plan that the day after we celebrate our little miracle's first birthday, we will be calling our case worker to get things moving again.
What about the fees you have already paid and the money that has been donated?
We will have to re-pay some of the fees (a couple things will need to be updated). We are extremely thankful for the people who have donated to us and feel utterly terrible that some of the fees will have to be repeated. We don't expect it to be a lot (and are praying it will stay that way). We do still have some money that we have in a separate bank account for this adoption, and not a penny of that will be spent until we are back on the road again. For now, we plan to invest it (wisely, no risk) so that it can grow in preparation for our future adoption (we still will have a long ways to go financially when the time comes!)
Will you keep up your blog?
Yes! I am excited to share the story of our growing family, and hope you will continue to visit! :D
Kara, I have been following your blog all this time, and I couldn't be happier for you. Thank you for sharing your story! I am looking forward to watching your family grow. Congrats and best wishes on your little bundle of joy!
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