Getting ahead again...

FYI: this post is not an update on our process, just a look into some of my thoughts..   :)
I find myself so often looking ahead at things and stressing out about things that I don't even need to worry about yet - why do i do that? Out of the thirst for preparation, ease of mind, because I want to be to that point since I am so impatient? Today I found myself reading the packet with information for traveling: documents to brings, etiquette, packing lists, how to get a visa, what to know about the country, and on and on.
I hate the unknown, I hate feeling unprepared, I am a woman of lists and labels. Every day I think about things I need to be prepared for but yet can not control- like I am trying to be prepared and ready for the first whole year and a half to happen all at once! I don't know if we need to be ready for a 3 month old baby or a 2 year old toddler, and there aren't any baby registry suggestions/guides for our situation. We won't know how they like to be held, what types of food they will expect, what they find comforting, what their schedule should be, they wont know or recognize our voices. The adoption house will be able to help thankfully, but as a first time parent it is incredibly intimidating and terrifying to be expected to just jump in (this will be our child, and shouldn't good parents know how to provide for their child?) How many people who have never been parents know what to expect from a child who is 9 months old, one who has been living in an orphanage their whole life, one who may not be getting the physical emotional and nurturing care they should be?
I am comforted that we are not alone, and that every parent has concerns and unknowns for their child. I don't really believe our situation is really any more stressful than any parent-to-be, just a little different! My advice to myself today: relax, it will ok, it is normal to freak out, and don't be a schedule nazi because Nate will flip out on you....haha!
During this process it is amazing how much you learn (at least me) about patience and trust- because we are so not in control! I try to remind myself daily that God is the one in control. And when I know that every little thing isn't up to me to carry, that makes me feel better too :)