In no way do I want to claim that I know anything about parenthood. I am fully aware that there are things I would say now (like "I will never do that!" or "I am going to make sure my kids always...") that when real life happens, I will live the complete opposite. I will learn what is reality and give up on some of the desires for my children- because I cant tell them how to live their lives and I will have to accept that (some day).
But I still want goals, I still want to be held accountable for certain life lessons. So I have compiled a few things to start with- I may fail at encouraging every item on here, but I at least want to say I tried :)
1. I pray you know what a personal relationship with Jesus means.
I don't want you to feel like you have to be a Christian because I am a Christian. I can't make you want to follow Christ. Being a Christian should not be about what you should and shouldn't do. Being a Christian means that you are in awe of what He did and is doing, and WANT to serve Him. When you love someone- you want to do things that would make them happy and don't want to do things that would make them sad. I pray that you will see the glory of God and how much He loves you. I pray you will feel the peace of the holy spirit, and the peace that comes when you give your life to Him.
2. We want to say "yes" as much as possible.
We would give you the world if we could. We want to give you freedom and encourage you to explore and learn from experiences! However, we will need to say "no" sometimes. You do need guidelines and structure yet too (and daddy just cant afford to buy you every toy under the sun). Even grown ups have to tell ourselves "no"- life doesn't go as smooth if you just say "yes" all the time.
3. Never be ashamed of who you are.
God made you just the way you are on purpose, and has put you just where you are meant to be. Never think the topic of your adoption (or any other topic that is important to you) is off limits. There may be things about your story that are/will be sad and painful, but you should never be ashamed of it. Your story defines who you are and helps you grow in the direction you need to!
4. We will always be proud of you and love you!
Even if I don't share your passions, we don't look the same, have the same personality- we are still a family. Families are not based on looks or hobbies, but on love.
I promise to support you in everything you do to better yourself, everything you do to help yourself grow, everything you need to do to help define who you are. We love that every day you will be a gift to our family, and we will never take that for granted.
5. Enjoy the present.
Good things are happening right now. If you keep looking to the next best thing, you will keep missing it. Life happens so fast. You can have goals and look forward to important milestones, but just make sure to enjoy those who are around you right now.
6. Be a friend to everyone.
You will always need a friend to laugh and find comfort with. Find a core few that you can feel especially close and connected with, but don't lose contact with others. Friends will disappoint and reject you, but if you learn the power of forgiveness you will be able to experience so much more in life. There are so many out there who just need someone to be their friend, if only for a few minutes- it is likely that you will get more out of that experience than they will.
7. Work hard & dream big dreams.
Even if you fail. You can learn much more from failure than you can from success, so don't be afraid to fail miserably. Give everything you do your best shot (a lesson I learned from my parents: you only have to do it once if you do it right the first time!) . It is not about money, it is about learning discipline and proving to yourself you can do anything you set your mind to.
8. Try to have a positive attitude and be quick to laugh
Your life will never go as planned, You will disagree with how things are handled. But things could always be worse. Being positive, no matter what the circumstances, means that you aren't giving up. Encourage the people around you, there are many who need it.
Laughter is life's best medicine. It is important to take things seriously when need be, but so many things can drastically improve with just a simple smile :)
9. Be your own person.
You are here to be you. You have many people who want the best for you: us, your birth family, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends. We all will have things we want you to do, but ultimately your life is up to you to live. Finding out who you are and living life in a way that is meaningful to you, is important. Don't spend your life trying to make all of us happy, we will be happy if you are happy!
10. We are trying our best.
We know we will make mistakes, raise our voices, be quick to judge, or lack patience. Hopefully we will be able to tell you that we are sorry, and you will be willing to forgive us.
We have learned some of life's hard lessons so we hope you listen to some of the things we have to say. But some day you will find out that mommy and daddy aren't quite the superheros you thought we were- but that is ok, because we keep trying to do better.
But I still want goals, I still want to be held accountable for certain life lessons. So I have compiled a few things to start with- I may fail at encouraging every item on here, but I at least want to say I tried :)
1. I pray you know what a personal relationship with Jesus means.
I don't want you to feel like you have to be a Christian because I am a Christian. I can't make you want to follow Christ. Being a Christian should not be about what you should and shouldn't do. Being a Christian means that you are in awe of what He did and is doing, and WANT to serve Him. When you love someone- you want to do things that would make them happy and don't want to do things that would make them sad. I pray that you will see the glory of God and how much He loves you. I pray you will feel the peace of the holy spirit, and the peace that comes when you give your life to Him.
2. We want to say "yes" as much as possible.
We would give you the world if we could. We want to give you freedom and encourage you to explore and learn from experiences! However, we will need to say "no" sometimes. You do need guidelines and structure yet too (and daddy just cant afford to buy you every toy under the sun). Even grown ups have to tell ourselves "no"- life doesn't go as smooth if you just say "yes" all the time.
3. Never be ashamed of who you are.
God made you just the way you are on purpose, and has put you just where you are meant to be. Never think the topic of your adoption (or any other topic that is important to you) is off limits. There may be things about your story that are/will be sad and painful, but you should never be ashamed of it. Your story defines who you are and helps you grow in the direction you need to!
4. We will always be proud of you and love you!
Even if I don't share your passions, we don't look the same, have the same personality- we are still a family. Families are not based on looks or hobbies, but on love.
I promise to support you in everything you do to better yourself, everything you do to help yourself grow, everything you need to do to help define who you are. We love that every day you will be a gift to our family, and we will never take that for granted.
5. Enjoy the present.
Good things are happening right now. If you keep looking to the next best thing, you will keep missing it. Life happens so fast. You can have goals and look forward to important milestones, but just make sure to enjoy those who are around you right now.
6. Be a friend to everyone.
You will always need a friend to laugh and find comfort with. Find a core few that you can feel especially close and connected with, but don't lose contact with others. Friends will disappoint and reject you, but if you learn the power of forgiveness you will be able to experience so much more in life. There are so many out there who just need someone to be their friend, if only for a few minutes- it is likely that you will get more out of that experience than they will.
7. Work hard & dream big dreams.
Even if you fail. You can learn much more from failure than you can from success, so don't be afraid to fail miserably. Give everything you do your best shot (a lesson I learned from my parents: you only have to do it once if you do it right the first time!) . It is not about money, it is about learning discipline and proving to yourself you can do anything you set your mind to.
8. Try to have a positive attitude and be quick to laugh
Your life will never go as planned, You will disagree with how things are handled. But things could always be worse. Being positive, no matter what the circumstances, means that you aren't giving up. Encourage the people around you, there are many who need it.
Laughter is life's best medicine. It is important to take things seriously when need be, but so many things can drastically improve with just a simple smile :)
9. Be your own person.
You are here to be you. You have many people who want the best for you: us, your birth family, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends. We all will have things we want you to do, but ultimately your life is up to you to live. Finding out who you are and living life in a way that is meaningful to you, is important. Don't spend your life trying to make all of us happy, we will be happy if you are happy!
10. We are trying our best.
We know we will make mistakes, raise our voices, be quick to judge, or lack patience. Hopefully we will be able to tell you that we are sorry, and you will be willing to forgive us.
We have learned some of life's hard lessons so we hope you listen to some of the things we have to say. But some day you will find out that mommy and daddy aren't quite the superheros you thought we were- but that is ok, because we keep trying to do better.
Just had to drop you a line and say hi. I read through you're blog it and love it! My husband and I are adopting a sibling group from Colombia. Can't wait to follow your journey :)
ReplyDeletehow exciting! looks like we are not far apart, good luck to you guys, cant wait to follow your story too! what an amazing reward it will be in the end :)
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