Godspeed please!

We finally received our translated referral last week (the official "match" from Colombia that basically says they have approved us to be Eimy's family).
The translation took longer than normal because apparently (for one example) one of the documents that is usually one page, was eighteen. (doh)

When we finally got that, I was able to start the paperwork to get Eimy's immigration to the US started (along with update our medical reports, get FBI approvals/fingerprinting, get final grant approvals, fill out placement agency paperwork, write big checks, and many other forms)

Oh, and since we are in the middle of buying a house, we have to do some extra paperwork, and I have to send it to our agency first to review instead of sending it directly to USCIS (immigration).

Each tiny step seems to be delayed a few days : which is driving me crazy because each delayed day adds up.

I have spent the last week with my head buried in paperwork, checking my email obsessively, and running around to do things like a chicken with my head cut off.

I am praying. praying. praying. that the paperwork I overnighted to the agency on Friday is ok, and that we can get the I-800 out in the next few days. And then I am praying some more that, by some miracle only capable of God's direct intervention, that our paperwork lands on the right person's desk who will be able to handle our craziness.
Please God, I really pray that our whoever opens that overflowing envelope has inhuman capabilities that day (and that they have a light load so are able to get to our file quick!)

Realistically, once the I-800 goes out, I believe it takes about 6 (maybe 4) weeks until we will be in country :(
I guess it takes time to get pre-immigration approved (which we need in order to apply for and get visas for us) and then for things to be prepped for us in Colombia.

To all who touch our journey : Godspeed everyone, Godspeed!
We have a pretty special little girl we can't wait to meet :)

This. Is. Happening.

So - we are going to have another daughter!

Her name is Eimy, and she just turned 3 :)
A quick re-cap of the last few months:

Tuesday, March 22 : I had a scheduled call with our agency about what to do about our wait.
We were beyond frustrated, and were looking into what other possible options we could pursue with Colombia to help get matched with a child.

When our case worker called me, I was beyond shocked to hear her say :
I have an unofficial referral for you.
I don't remember much more of the conversation, or that day, but my heart was in my stomach when I hung up with her and looked for the email with "the pictures".
I just wanted to see her.
And suddenly they were there: grainy photocopied pictures.
I cried. And with wide eyes, uttered the words "oh.. my.. God..." a few times (in amazement, praise, and thankfulness! :)

I texted Nate frantically and repeatedly to call me. After I told him, he made up some my-wife-is-crazy-excuse to come home a little early from work to sit in shock with me.

Since then, we have been filing more paperwork to get the "official referral".

We found out on Wednesday, May 18 (eimy's third birthday) that the official referral was on it's way. It just has to be translated (which takes a few days).
Don't worry, I am checking my email about every other minute looking for that one.

When do we travel to get her? We are estimating in about six weeks.
Shortly after we arrive, we will meet Eimy - and she will stay with us until the adoption is finalized in Colombia! (about 4-6 weeks in country?)
Nate will be able to stay the first two weeks (as that is all the vacation he has a year), then will have to come home to work. Elle and my mom will stay the rest of the time.

We waited 4.5 years since we submitted our paperwork to our first agency, until we got that call. And I don't regret a single minute of it.

Colombia, here we come!

Wait List Update

Latest update number ... 559.

We are excited that it is progress, but humble as we know we have a long way to go.

It is not unheard of for a family to be "#1" and still wait 6+months. The scenerios I have heard of this happening is when a family's file is sent to a region along with a couple other families, but there isn't a match for that family in that region at that time, so their paperwork is sent back to ICBF. Governments and paperwork aren't a speedy process, or does it always make sense!

If everything went perfect, and based on the progress since our last update, we can estimate that we have about 16 more months to wait - but we are very cautious that this is a very very rough estimate and fully expect things to possibly take longer.

Please pray with us to remember to let go, and let God. 

God is bigger than the NUMBER

Recently we learned we were #776 on the wait list (we were #927 on July 3). 

There is an estimate that we have another two years to wait for our Colombian bundle- but my soul argues that God is bigger than wait list numbers. 

The last few weeks have been especially heavy on my heart  for some reason. 

Being in a hurry for an international adoption is cause for concern (as children available too quickly should raise red flags & I don't want to take a child out of their environment/country/etc unless they truly need it) but I think my soul is growing weary. I started praying for this almost 5 years ago. And it has been a roller coaster - just as we had been warned might happen :) 

It is hard to know just how much a heart can take, and yet I know that no matter the wait, with Jesus in my heart I will be able to do it. I have faith in his timing, as so far looking back, he has blessed us far more through this journey already, than we could imagine (and we haven't even gotten to the best part yet!).

And yet, as I said before, I think that God is bigger than our "estimates" and "wait lists".
That there is a child that is meant to fill the hole in our family.
I don't want to ask for prayers for the wait to move quickly (because that means that that there are too many children who are in orphanages waiting for families), but for that hole to be filled much sooner because just the right child needs us (as we need them).
(It probably doesn't help that a few days ago Elle started asking about a "little brudder". Bless her heart!)

This prayer of Jesus, while his circumstances were far worse, gives me courage to still pray boldly for this wait to be over...
"My father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." 

Waiting, Waiting

How often can you give an update that "we are still waiting" :)

We recently completed an updated home study (our 4th), paid some more fees (I am not even bothering to keep track anymore), finalized our transfer to our new agency, updated immigration paperwork, got fingerprinted for the 4th time, and Nate renewed his passport since it was set to expire this year.

I will just share my thoughts on part of a conversation with someone at our new agency:
"Now that you have your daughter, have your feelings about adoption changed, and are you still dedicated to it?"
I wanted to scream in to the phone how the idea of this adoption hurts more than ever and my heart aches to hold,comfort,love, and hopefully be loved, by this new child.
That the wait is agonizing.
That experiencing the birth and bond with our daughter made me realize how much a birthmother is sacrificing.
That after realizing how quickly we bonded, the idea of someone else raising my daughter made me crumble. The idea of how traumatized she would be wondering where her mom was: and yet knowing that our adoptive child would have gone through exactly that.
That at every stage of our daughter's life, I have compared and thought about another child going through their life with no family, hitting those milestones with nobody there who really appreciated and loved them.
That on the many nights I sneak in to my daughter's room and watch her sleep, a part of me slips away to an orphanage somewhere: imaging a child sleeping with nobody bothering to check on them.
That every time she has cried for me when I left the room, I could tell her that I was coming back: and literally every time I spoke those words of assurance, I would grieve for the child whose parent didn't come back.

The blessing of our daughter is so much more than just the joy of having her in our family: it has given me a whole new perspective of adoption. So now, more than ever, do I want to wrap my arms around a little one and be able to tell them "mama's here".


please pray that our adoption will continue to move along - our new agency is warning us that there is a possibility that colombia may yet make us go on hold (we were supposed to when our daughter was born, and didn't even though we reported it) if we do not go on hold : there is a chance we could see a referral this year. God, may it be, but may we have patience to wait if that is your plan.

For Colombia, we wait.

We are sticking the course.
To our future family in Colombia: we aren't giving up yet. Why? God hasn't told us to yet.

I know that there are people who are screaming at their computer: just give up already! Maybe this isn't meant to be. Just do something else..
I have been in your shoes, I have made my own judgements/assumptions when I thought I knew better how someone should be living their life, or the choices they should make. But the honest truth is, we don't know. I don't know how God is working your life, so whatever decisions you make: I have to trust that you are doing them with God's guidance.
And I can tell you with honest excitement that God is asking us to wait. We honestly feel like God hasn't told us to stop, and the cues we have gotten so far leading up to this have told us that this is where we need to be. So until there is a real roadblock, we will trust in God's timing.

So we are continuing: Filling out more paperwork with a new agency, updating homestudies, fingerprints, and all the other meaningless paperwork the governments ask us to do (seriously: my fingerprints haven't changed from the last 4 times we did this...)

Here is my biggest prayer request to go along with this update: pray for patience (this is my biggest struggle) as we are approaching 4-DIGIT wait list days.
Pray that we can try every day to take our hands off the steering wheel and let God take control. When we did this in the beginning of this journey, we saw some powerful stuff. The longer we wait the harder it is to try to not take control. I don't want to miss God's ending: He does some of the most amazing work :)

Transition

We are in a time of adoption transition.
Bethany will no longer be conducting adoptions in Colombia. (They are partnering with another agency, and we can transfer to that agency and continue on)

This comes at a time where we are also considering what our adoption process is supposed to look like now. There are less infants available for adoption in Colombia than there was when we started this process, and the wait for us (if Colombia continues to stay open) will likely be years..

It is hard to say that you are considering "jumping ship". We knew there would be ups and downs, delays, but we honestly were not expecting this long. Our desires for adoption have not changed, if we decide to leave Colombia, it will be for another program. The hard part is, do we trust God's timing and continue to follow the path we felt called to in the beginning of this process, or do we fulfill our desires for another child and pursue an avenue that might bring us one sooner.

I don't want to leave Colombia. The culture, the connections, the call we first felt there... I am not sure we will leave. But the wait is hard. I honestly think the hardest thing I have ever done. I thought that a year would be hard, and now we have been waiting for three, with more to go.

And today, I am looking at the waiting children profiles, and my heart is melting. Seriously friends, if you could just see their faces: you would be signing up for a home study without caring if your case worker will see your bed unmade.

So this is a plea for prayers so we know what God wants us to do, and a plea for anyone considering adoption or foster care : fill out the preliminary application and see these children's faces, you will not regret it :)

Little Progress

We finally got another wait list update:  #927 on July 3. 

This.is.taking.for.ev.er....

Wait Milestone

We crossed a new milestone: we are now in the three digit numbers! As of March 14, we were number 994.
That was two months ago almost now but our local adoption team just got that info last week. It isn't a big move, but we are happy to be this far :)

Are you still adopting?

I know it has been. for.ever. since I have updated. But yes, we are still fighting.

For awhile now, we have been in limbo, so it has been hard to know what to update: We learned a few months ago that our agency was unable to renew their accreditation in Colombia. We were given the option to wait while they work to try to get it back, or request to be transferred to a different agency. So far we are waiting. We believe in what Bethany is doing, and have met some amazing people there.
We are not expecting any [further] delays because of this issue, but we have felt "in the dark" about what is going on in regards to our case and the stability of the adoption program in Colombia.
The last update we were able to receive about our case number is that on February 5, we were number 1028 on the wait list. It has been communicated to us that this list is for all families waiting through ICBF, for any age range. So it is hard to tell where we really stand as far as time to go. The most recent estimation we got from another agency is possibly another two years.
thud.
That was my heart just stopping. I hate that word : years.

Have we thought about other options? Yes, but we haven't felt the push to follow them yet. Which makes this stillness so so hard. We want progress, we want updates, we want the call, we want a name, we want to see that first picture.

Almost four years ago we started this journey. Four years ago a child we never met weighed on our hearts. Four years ago we started praying for this.
We are tired of waiting. But we aren't giving up. We will fight through the speed bumps, and we will not stop until there is a road block in Colombia. Our only alternative: maybe some day we will have to adopt another way. But maybe not. And it doesn't matter, because we believe the outcome is what matters.

At the end of it all, there is a child waiting for us.

That does not weigh lightly on my soul.
Please. Pray with me. For this child, and for the hole we feel until they fill it.

1202

Our new wait list number: 1202
we moved 40 spots in the last month. progress is progress- just wish it was quicker! :)

Wait List Jump!

I was surprised when I received a message from our adoption agency today that they had an updated number for us on our wait list. Colombia recently decided that they were going to start tracking and updating the wait list electronically and were still getting the system up and running, but weren't giving verbal updates in the meantime.
But today our agency got an updated number for us! We are now number 1282! that is almost 100 spots moved in about four and a half months. We are amazed and praying that things continue to progress!
Please pray that we trust God's plan, as it is a daily struggle for me to truly trust so blindly. He has already shown us He has great plans for us, we are just anxious to know them!

Adoption Fundraiser

Heard about this adoption fundraiser that I wanted to pass along! Of course, we would be honored/grateful if you entered on our behalf, but if you know someone else who is adopting, please pass it along to them as well! This really cool company, noonday collection, sells all kinds of awesome stuff that helps benefit women all over the world.

And for a week in February, a portion of their sales is going to go towards an adoptive family!
Here is what you would need to do:
Place an order, for yourself or another family in the process of adopting, the week of Feb 20 through Feb 28. Make sure in the comments section on the checkout page that you put the name of the family adopting. For every order placed on behalf of that family, they will be entered to win the grand prize which is 15% of total sales for that week of February. (check to be sent to adoption agency) 
Not only are you helping someone with their adoption but you are also helping woman all over the world feed their families, send their kids to school and just live a better life!

Rules
1. Family must have a completed home study
2. No minimum or maximum entries
3. If your mother, friend, aunt, places an order for you they will contact them and then follow up with the winner.
4. Drawing will be March 1st
5. Make sure you order directly from their site to qualify for this promotion
(http://www.jenniferwickstrom.noondaycollection.com/)

1,322

We have moved 21 spots on the wait list in about two months.
That does not seem like a lot, but Colombia's adoptions usually slow down a lot during the holidays, so I am looking at it as decent progress (slow, but decent). We are hoping that our progress will pick up since we are supposed to be moving faster than most families due to Los Pisingos closing. (is it weird that I feel guilty about that and awesome at the same time?) We still don't really know what this wait time will look like for sure, so we are just praying it will pass quickly!

On other news: in regards to Los Pisingos, we are hearing that they are in the last stages of "finalizing" their documents needed to be re-licensed. We are still thinking about and hoping to switch back to this adoption house if they re-open soon. A lot of it will depend on if they will even except our case again (adoption houses have recently made changes on ages for referrals- and they have not been able to tell us yet if we will be considered a "new" case and therefor ineligible, or if they will be able to except us since we were with them before).

Our immigration paperwork (submitted on behalf of our child-to-be) will be expiring this spring. So soon we will have to update some things (medical evaluations, home study, etc) in order to request an extension.

So we will keep waiting, updating paperwork, and praying right along side all the other families waiting! :)

1,343

That is our number on the list. 1,343 people are ahead of us, waiting for a child in our same age range. What a staggering number to think about! No wonder it takes years to process all these families! So what does this mean and what is next?

Bast case scenario: we are able to transfer back to Los Pisingos within the next few months.(as no matter what: this will give us the shortest wait. And we just love Los Pisingos anyways!)

Next best case scenario: If we have to stick with ICBF/the government wait list route, it sounds like for every two regular ICBF cases that are moved to a region as referrals are processed, they will also move ONE Los Pisingos family as well. From what I can gather, this means that we will move along quicker than people who submitted to ICBF directly, but the wait will still be longer than if we were with Los Pisingos.

Overall, this sounds like pretty good news, but yet still very confusing and a lot of details that we really don't understand or know. We will continue to trust that God will guide us!

an update is close!

Just heard that a meeting should be taking place this week with the Colombian governement (ICBF) to give an update on where we are on  "the list" with them now.

It also sounds like Los Pisingos (the adoption house we were previously working with) is working to get their license back, and hopes to have everything worked out in the next few months? We are praying this is true, and praying that we will be able to move our dossier back to them! Otherwise, we will have to continue with ICBF and pray that thew long wait ahead of us will will pass quickly :)

No Update

This is an update to report we have no update :)

We were hoping to get an update this week on where we will begin our new wait with ICBF, but they are behind on getting these "new" families into the system, so it will be a little bit yet before we know.
Otherwise, the last we have heard from our agency is that they are working to see if there are any other adoption houses we could transfer to instead, or if Los Pisingos reopens we will see about transferring back there (we are trying to be positive, but just not sure how quickly/if that will happen). So we continue to hold our breath for where we go next...

On a positive note: two families we know have gotten referrals recently! SO excited for both of them! One of them was able to squeeze a referral through before Los Pisingos closed- what a blessing! They happen to be an extended family member of a family member(kind of?), so it has been really awesome to be able to get to see their story from a closer perspective. Just getting a small idea of what it is like to see that picture for the first time... your heart just breaks!

adoption house "closes"

We found out this week that the adoption house our case was at, Los Pisingos, lost its adoption license. ICBF (the government agency in Colombia that oversees all adoptions) pulled the license a few weeks ago.
Since the reason why has not been made 100% clear, I will not comment on that part- but we do know that it is NOT because of mistreatment or misconduct in regards to the children there.

What does this mean for us? At this time, since all other adoption houses are "full" (meaning they will not accept any more waiting families) or are no longer issuing adoptions for children under the age of 5 years old, we have to continue our adoption process under ICBF. The problem with this, is that the wait time is at least double what the wait time is if working with an adoption house (average wait time right now through ICBF is 4 years). The only beneficial thing for us, is that our case is moving along the wait list like everyone else (for now).
We hope to get an update soon on where we actually stand on the wait list - we are hoping that they will take the time we have waited already into consideration. Unlike an adoption house, we should receive a number that will tell us where we are in line.

We do truly hope, however, that Los Pisingos will get their license back! If this does occur, we can request for our case to be transferred back to them. There are many factors and unknowns that still would have to be worked out before this could potentially  happen.

For now: we wait to see what happens with Los Pisingos and where our new "wait" beings!

some day..

I like to steal lots of Colombia goodies from Leigh Anne, a fellow adoptive parent to be :)

A beautiful video of Colombia. To think that a little one is somewhere in the midst of it all, waiting (or will be) for their forever family!

Update from Colombia

We were very excited to hear today that the adoption house we are working with in Colombia has received their re-accreditation! This means that referrals can start coming again :)
(other adoption houses haven't quite gotten their approvals yet, but we pray they will shortly!)

Even though a referral may not be in the near future for us since we are on hold, it is very encouraging to hear this news and we are excited for the families we know who are waiting!